Some amusing quotations

The first one is from Terry Pratchett's «Interesting Times» (ignore the straw-business).

"Um. Have you ever heard of the theory that history goes in cycles?"
"I saw a drawing in one of Leonard of Quirm's notebooks-" Raincewind began, trying again with another straw.
"No, I mean ... like a ... wheel, spinning. If you stand in the same place it all comes round again?"
"Oh, that. Blast!"
"Well, a lot of people believe it here. They think History starts again every three thousand years."
"Could be," said Rincewind, who was looking for another straw and wasn't really listening. Then the words sank in. "Three thousand years? That's a bit short isn't it? The whole thing? Stars and oceans and intelligent life evolving from arts graduates, that sort of thing?"

Number two originates from Neil Gaiman's feather. He wrote in the book «Neverwhere»:

Jessica changed all that. Richard found himself, on otherwise sensible weekends, accompanying her to places like the National Gallery and the Tate, where he learned that walking around galleries too long hurts your feet, that the great art treasures of the world all blur into each other after a while, and that it is almost beyond the human capacity for belief to accept how much museum cafeterias will brazenly charge for a slice of cake and a cup of tea.
'Here's your tea, and you éclair', he hold her. 'It would have cost less to buy one of those Tintorettos.'
'Don't exaggerate,' said Jessica, cheerfully. 'Anyway, there aren't any Tintorettos at the Tate.'
'I should have had cherry cake,' said Richard. 'Then they would have been able to afford another Van Gogh.'