Monday, October 08, 2007

Pretty girl wants to marry rich guy = bad trade (a banker's perspective)

Something I picked up from the ether. The original source is some networking portal called Craiglist (such as Xing).

The question

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

  • Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
  • What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
  • Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
  • Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
  • Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
  • How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

The answer

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Labels:

16 Comments:

Anonymous Fischer said...

Mwahahaha...

6:15 pm  
Anonymous Brett Tate said...

Dear Whore;

I appreciate the honesty in accessing your true occupational purpose. At 500K a year, you've tagged your coochie at an astonishing $1369 a day! Quite modest, aren't we! But I admit, I'm still intrigued at what such an astonishing figure might offer, and would hate to miss out on what must be the best lay in the world. So I'd like to go for the daily rental plan to satisfy my curiosity before taking the big plunge on a nominal lease plan.

But before I commit to a rental though, a few questions, dear.

Having seduced and rented an embarrassingly large number of women, I must say you really need to explain your pricing. You humbly find yourself spectacularly beautiful, but really now, that's just your opinion. Just last month at the Novahotel disco in Bangkok, I had 25 different Russian Anna Kournikova look-a-likes offer a rental price of $150 a night.

As a man, I imagine my beautiful meter is far more subjective than yours. Since you're American, the odds are miniscule you're even close to as beautiful as them, let alone ten times more beautiful to justify $1369 a day!

So is it your sexual performance? Just last month in Thailand and the Philippines I've donated $30 a night to at least half a dozen girls who could star in porn today. Are you 45 times better to command $1369? Hmmmm.

Is your snapper gold plated and does it shoot fire? If it only shoots darts and smoke cigars, I've already seen that for free at Long Gun in Bangkok.

Maybe you have some magical pink taco that changes transmission fluid, carries my golf bag, baits my hooks, and morphs into a different 21 year old every night? That might be worth something, I imagine. $1369? Well...

Also, you seem naive to the game. Men don't pay for sex, we pay for the women to leave. It sounds like you expect to come back every day! Good grief!! The excitement of newness fades quickly, sometimes in an afternoon, so surely there must be some decelerating price scale as the days add up. Please advise.

Lastly, you don't speak do you? I don't like to talk to whores, and avoid cocky ones like the plague, which you clearly are.

Maybe you're actually some package deal. Do you have a fleet of hot girlfriends that give great BJs or something? When it's not free, I pay just $60 in Thailand for threesomes, and some of those girls sucked it so hard my ears wiggled and the bed sheets went up my butt. So what does a $1369 hummer feel like? Really. I'd like to know.

Geez, prostitution can be so difficult at times. This is hard work.



Warm Regards,

Brett Tate

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0975264028/

9:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, Mr Tate dont be too surprised if u land up very soon with the world's worst possible STD's. Probability has multilpied proporionate to the number of partners. Too much arrogance leads to nothing but damnation.

All the lady wanted was to have a decent life for herself n for her kids. She is no gold digger. Mind you she is not offering her body for trade. SHe is offering Love, joy, care and all the wonderful emotions a wife shares with her husband for years to come. There is absolutely nothing wrong with tat. Let me also tell u 90% of women secretly want the same. The whores u slept with wudnt mind even killing you for a measly watchor soemthing u mite have been wearing.It was her honesty that became her undoing.

Anywys I am sure she will find A mAN 1000% better than you better lookin, 1000 times wealthier, 1000 times better in bed nad 1000 times more faithful. SHe will ahve a great life. But you, well have to die with the most horrendous disgusting Sexually transmitted diseases. Girls n viewers join in to curse this mean to eternal damnation.

8:59 am  
Blogger Mike said...

I wouldn't take the whole story too serious.

8:17 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

besides being a depreciating assets. women who aim to catch rich husband are taking a risk in not knowing his net worth. some guys might seem to be rich in assets side only which does not mean he gained it through liabilites or equities. you might marry with men with debt unknowingly.

3:29 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bi should use preview earlier ",): besides becoming a depreciating asset. women who aim to catch rich husbands are taking a risk in not knowing their net worth. some guys might seem to be rich. but their posession of seen assets does not necessarily mean that they gained the assets through their equities it is possible that they might gain them through their liabilites. that means you might risk marry men who are full with debt unknowingly in order to trade with their social show off. except you can check his financial statments :P

3:43 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

how much people can earn is not important as how much they can save.

3:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow this is so entertaining...screw the girl who sells herself for money...

6:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:00 pm  
Blogger Mike said...

My apologies for any deluded comments that end up here. Seems like this topic aggitates some narrow minds more than is good for them.

7:01 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you were that hot and that smart, you would have found me by now...

9:38 am  
Blogger Ricardo said...

is incredible but that is a bad in the youth of today, all women want a 'partner' wealthy regardless of the love that exists between them and this is the beginning of the failure of married life, gives interesting subject for lot of talk.

11:01 pm  
Blogger Sam said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:27 pm  
Blogger Sam said...

★ Every man deserves a woman who is his personal cheerleader--both in his triumphs and failures, who doesn't try to make him jealous, doesn't lie, isn't using him for his paycheck, really listens to him when he wants to tell her how his day at work went, isn't jealous of the time he spends doing guy things, doesn't criticize everything he likes, kisses him likes she means it, and makes sure he knows every day how much she loves and cares about him ★

1:02 pm  
Blogger Mike said...

That's all very great, Sam, but I think you're taking this too serious. Ideally, whatever you said is true for box sexes.

7:33 pm  
Blogger Sam said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:18 am  

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